Break out your dowsing rods...we're looking for the flow again.

We’ve spent a lot of time focusing on various things that come up for us as CNBC, but it struck me that sometimes we can focus on the shit so much that we lose sight of the good stuff. Yes, we have to cope with a lot of crap, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that good stuff can come at us out of nowhere. Trouble is, you miss it if you solely focus on the crap stuff, thereby losing the significance of the good stuff going on around you. With the New Year coming up, I think that it’s now time to start focusing on what we want in life and that starts by getting in the flow again ready for all that 2019 has to offer.

Without getting too woo-woo on you, some people call the good stuff synchronicity, some call it divine timing, I just call it getting your flow back. It’s that feeling when everything is going along nicely, without the need to really push so hard that it feels as though you’re swimming against the tide. Things just slot into place and you’re skipping along nicely. Opportunities come knocking and life is looking goooood!

But, obviously life ebbs and flows and so there will be times when life isn’t easy and that tends to be when you’re not in the flow. My experiences of trying for a family definitely saw me pushing against the flow. It all felt incredibly difficult to be honest with you and it’s only as I look back now, that as well as the huge disappointment, I can see and feel the relief. It’s over – the dream may be gone, but at least I’m not stuck in that whirlpool of relentless hope and disappointment, that was sucking me bloody dry. Do you feel the same, or are you yet to see any sense of relief and acceptance?

This to me is the barest, most basic, structure of acceptance – a pragmatic look at a shit situation and being able to pick the bones out of it in such a way as to be able to make a small step to help you move on. However, I can understand that if you’ve had your confidence knocked on one thing, it can be hard to focus in on something else, especially if it feels a bit hard to start with. This makes for an uneasy existence at times though, because you’re constantly waiting for the good times to stop. The trust in life has gone, leaving a very different person in its wake.

Speaking for me, it’s left me questioning everything. Whereas before I would jump into something without much thought, just an optimism that it would all work out, now I question more. I question where it’ll take me, I question whether I should be doing it, I question whether it’ll have an impact on me that’s more than I could tolerate and I also question whether if it’s goooood at the moment, when will it end. It’s not that I want to be miserable or pessimistic. It’s very much the opposite, as I so badly want to be able to let go and have fun, but having come through something so difficult, it leaves an indelible mark.

But, here’s the thing, it does have its positives. I can and do get in the flow of life again, but it just means I go looking for bigger opportunities because I need a bigger ‘hit’ of the flow to really get the same level of satisfaction that I used to have. It does mean that I’m a happier person when I’m happy, I live more in the moment when I’m there in the flow and I accept more positively the times that the flow ends, knowing that I will find it again.

And for me that’s a big message to you all out there. Life is what happens when you’re waiting for the next thing to land in your lap. Life will continue with or without you taking an active role in it. I truly believe that facing a childless lifestyle is incredibly difficult and you are entitled to feel shit, sad and depressed about it – that’s all a natural state of being when you’re grieving for something you wanted but can’t have. And trust me, I’ve been there and I still dip into that place at times, because this is a fucking hard journey. But there comes a time when life needs to be re-engaged with and it’ll only be you that is able to choose the time that you want or are able to do that.

But know that when you’re ready, opportunities will be waiting in the wings for you to grab them and start on a new path. Yes, you might be like me and be constantly questioning, and you might need to look for the bigger ‘hit’ of the flow, but that means you’ll go looking for them and you’ll want them more and more. The flow will ebb and…well…flow, but you can, with the right support find it again. I know because I’ve been there.

Whatever you do, don't let this thing beat you! Don’t stop looking for the flow. Don’t stop looking for the opportunities that prove you still deserve to be here, because we both know you do.

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