Saying goodbye to the illusion of control

I love this picture – it speaks to me of release and freedom. There’s no-one around (except the photographer) to interfere with the birds, so they are free to glide above the mountain. That would be my idea of bliss – just freedom from cares, away from judgement and a loss of control that doesn’t need me to justify it to anyone – not even a photographer.

So this week my thoughts have turned to letting go. As I’ve gone through this process, it makes me realise how much control I’ve tried to exert over things. Things I’ve had no control over at all. And I think that goes for all of us because it doesn’t matter how you find yourself here, there’s a loss of control – not being the right person, not having things perfect ready to start trying for children or having health problems. Things haven’t worked out because you haven’t been able to control it.

I can’t help feeling that as a consequence we end up looking around at the life thinking ‘how the hell did this happen and what the f*ck do I do to put it back together?’. It feels scary and isolating at we look at the wreck of a dream we had and moving forward into something new, is terrifying, because what if that goes wrong too? 

I don’t know about you, but I felt as though I was trying to re-build my life with jelly. As a result, it didn’t matter what I was trying to do, I was trying to nail jelly to the wall. Through trying to control it all I ended up stuck in a cycle of hopelessness and feeling lost.

But, I learned a valuable lesson – control is an illusion and we have no control over anything in our lives only the decisions we make and the emotions we feel. I know scary right?

But here’s the thing –  letting go of the need to control everything is refreshing, liberating and a lot less energy. The realisation that there is no control over the external issues means you stop trying to control the uncontrollable and can use all that energy to focus on YOU.  You can focus on how you react to the external events and what your thoughts and feelings are. It’s a massive release and a lot less tiring.

Goodbye powerlessness and loss of control. Hello empowerment, boundaries and a stronger you!

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